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(long, sad sigh)  I really don’t know what to do with myself.  I’m trying to work some things out with work and my business and well…things aren’t working out.  And I can’t ignore the fact that my hands will be toast one day soon.  I’m really at a loss.  I’m highly considering a job at Starbuck’s…if I can even get a job at Starbuck’s.  Have I already mentioned this?  I love it in the movie American Beauty when he quits his job and goes to work for a fast food restaurant.  I really see the appeal to that.  It’s so easy and meaningless that it’s freeing.  Oh man…what do I do?

Speaking of Starbuck’s…if you feel like getting me a little birthday gifty…I would love a gift certificate from Starbuck’s.  Because as much as those green tea fuckers save my life, they also cost up to $4 depending on what size I get.  I’m not even going to do the math on that for a yearly total.

That’s right…I’m dedicating a whole post to the above mentioned beverage.  People…this beverage saved my life today.  I was about to step foot into a 31 Flavors and then I remembered that I had my new saviour the Green Tea Latte.  So, I went in got a Venti…which is the largest size, ordered it with 1% and felt like I was drinking a milk shake.  Once again, all it has in it, if you don’t get the syrup, is Matcha Green Tea Powder and Milk.  And it actually tastes sweet, I guess from the milk.  So, if you like Green Tea Ice Cream you need to try this shit.

I was basically told I suck as a Massage Therapist. I’m starting to believe it.

I called Lia and it made my fucking week. She said that her and a friend were talking about penis’…I don’t know how to write that in plural, is it peni?

I decided to leave my office. The decision was related to the above mentioned 1st sentence.

I told myself I would go to bed early and it’s midnight and I’m still up.

I found my new favorite treat, an Iced Green Tea Latte w/o the sweetener syrup (Starbucks.) So, it’s like green tea ice cream but no sugar and just milk and tea. I love finding things that are healthy and delicious.

Maggie ate one of my flip flops.  Dammit!

My poor parents listened to me, yet again, rant and rave about my life.  It’s a wonder they’re still my parents.

I ate a plate of fish, some white rice, edamame, half of a salami sandwich on whole grain bread with tomato and mayo, a chicken leg, an orange, green tea latte, milk and some dark chocolate.

Is now tomorrow.

Ugh, I’m getting fatter and fatter by the minute.  Someone do something!  Oh, that’s right…I’m the only one that can do anything about it.  Hmmm, maybe I’ll jump off a cliff.  Now now, don’t worry…I’m not even close to the edge of the cliff.

I hate El Dorado County.  Not sure where that came from.  At first I meant it because I wasn’t picked first for that job, but then I just started kind of thinking about the County in general and I pretty much hate it.  Of Course, that really isn’t something new.  I wish my parents lived in Seattle or Portland or something…now that would be cool.  Oh, I’m just in a bad mood.  I’m sure I really do love being here, just not right now.

I didn’t do much.

I took the dogs for a walk with Maggie on a leash the whole time. (She’s been running away!)

I stopped to smell the beautiful yellow roses.

I ate a whole row of Ritz Crackers.

I ate my whole Subway sandwich.

I worried WAY too much about getting fatter.

I fell deeper in love with my husband.

I thought about eating another row of Ritz Crackers, I mean why not right?  They’re the Whole Grain flavor.

I brushed the Grundle, she was a mess and had about a pound of undercoat that made her look like a Wooly Mammoth.

It’s amazing to me sometimes that I have any friends or family at all. So many times I say or do things that make me think back and say, “Holy Shit, that was mean.” The only reason I can think of for still having loved ones is…well, can’t really think of any. Sometimes when I’m visiting Amy, Lisa and Ella and Brian is home with Mom and Dad. He says that it’s like the entertainment has been removed from the day and that it’s kinda boring. Although, I think truly, when I’m gone, my Mother steps in and takes that animated role. Because let’s face it…she’s cute and funny too. So, I guess that is pretty much what it’s all about. I make people laugh, I’m pretty animated and have lots to say and I happen to be fairly good looking (pleasing features and what not.) Other than that…I think I might just be a Royal Bitch. Hey, admitting to something is half the battle right?

I miss Lia today…maybe I should give her a call.  I don’t know why, but I never call her.  Which is totally rediculous because she is a very good talker.  I think I just haven’t gotten into the habit of it, you know?  I mean she started out as a non talking baby type person, right?  So, you don’t normally call those type of people up on the phone.   But now…she is a little talking person with fears, hopes and expectations.  I don’t know why, but lately I’ve really wasted my opportunity to spend time with her.  I think I’m going through a very strong selfish time in my life.  I’m out a lot now, spending a lot of time at the sushi place with my friends and well…just having fun.  I don’t know…I’m just having a hard time right now accepting children in my life and being a part of their lives.  I think it might also be lazieness.  I really don’t know how parents do it.  It’s kind of like sleeping with one eye open.  Which I think might be easy for Tim, because the fucker sleeps with his eyes open.

You know you can call your massage whatever you want, but either way it’s still pretty much the same thing.  You use your hands or upper extremeties (elbow, thumb, forearm) to manipulate someones body in hopes of bringing blood to the area (carrying oxygen) to encourage healing.  You can call it Shiatsu, Therapeutic, Deep Tissue, Neuromusceluar, Orthopedic or Sports Massage…it’s all the same.  (Energy work doesn’t fall into this category.)  And that topic is another whole blog all together.  I’ve become a bitter, bitter massage therapist.  It’s sad really…I remember what I used to be like, it wasn’t that long ago.  I remember when I was proud of what I had created for myself.  But now…I just look at it as a waste of valuable time that I could have been adding to a 401K program with a real J.O.B.  I do have those moments still when I am amazed at what a gift it is that people hand over their bodies to me.  But those only happen about every six months or so.  Eh…I guess it’s just too early in the morning for me to be thinking about this.  But…it’s what’s on my mind right now.

Loving it!

I had a client cry on my table.

I Learned that skinny people only eat half of their Togo’s sandwich and professional golfers are now hot guys. When did that happen?

I’m going to start reading The life of Pi even if it ends up killing me.

I noticed the roses are blooming, pink ones, peach ones and yellow ones.  It smells amazing outside right now.  Like summer.  As I walked the dogs I thought of Grandma.

I am generally in a horrible mood.

How’s that for a comeback post?

There really isn’t anything much more wonderful than a couple of hours and four miles with your husband and dogs on a beautiful day.  Maggie was very popular with the locals.  Thank God for Spring Baby!